Wild Card: Forgiveness is Key

Credit: South China Morning Post

If we let our adult fears take over, we will never be the best version of ourselves. Our adult fears stem from childish fears or past mistakes. I am not a psychologist, nor do I pretend to play one on tv (but if the opportunity presents itself, please give ya girl an audition). Time and time again I have witnessed the power that forgiving people has. This isn't something that happens overnight though. Still not convinced? Walk with me.

We often find ourselves in relationships that come with a balance of trust. Once that trust is broken all hell breaks loose and we are left wondering what we saw in that person in the first place. When someone hurts us, all the romantic notions that came with that person fly right out the window. Well don't they? I say this becuase I believe that is completly false. You're hurt because you loved them and forgiving them may make you vulnerable to being hurt again. But forgivness isn't about opening yourself to hearbreak, it's about letting go and accepting what is.

Acceptance is something I will talk about until the day I die. It is something that doesn't rub well with most people because we have our own perceptions of life. That is how life works after all. However, all these perceptions come with personal experience and baggage that some people can relate to, but most people will not. If we took off our baggage for a second and took a good look around, we can start to begin to accept what is. This is scary. Why would I want to forgive the person who ran over my cat or threw up on my brand new sofa? Why would I do that if they cheated on me or abandoned me? Because there's no other way to change what happnened. No matter the circumstance, whatever happened, happened. There's no way to reverse it and there never will be (again if time travel is a thing, give ya girl a call.) so we have to accept what is. This doesn't mean let that person who stole your wallet at work come to the family barbeque, it just means that the event and the actions don't cut as deep as they did before.

I'm serious. It is a thing. Let me paint you a small picture. When I was younger, I used to be so mad at my dad. I always painted him as the villain because the chain of events that led up to my parent's divorce really defined me as a person. This inability to forgive trickled into so many things in my life that it got out of hand. I would combust into tears if things didn't go how I had expected them to and would get so angry when plans fell through. When I grew up a bit and got over myself (as most teenagers do eventually) I took a step back and realized I had to accept what happened. The details seemed to iron themselves out and for once I could see the whole chain of events as if it was hanging on the wall. There was not as much emotion as before. I was able to understand more and empathize with sides of the story that may have not made sense before. It made things make sense, so it gave me the power to forgive. Now on the flip side, if someone ran over my dog intentionally I don't think I'd be able to forgive them right then and there. But eventually, time would mend the bond.

Practicing forgiveness is hard, like really freaking hard. But I am telling you it is the most freeing thing you could ever do. Acknowledging things as they are and how they occurred is just life. People do stupid crap that pisses us off and ruins our day/lives. But it's just a moment in time. Don't let it define you. Forgive.

I hope that this article inspires you to practice forgiveness and free yourself from the burdens of life. If you need some help, check out the own your truth challenge here.