Inspiration: Ted Talks

Click this picture to find out which TED Talk you are, because thats where this picture came from.

How many of you in here masterbate? Raise your hand. No one? Just me? Well okay how many of you have ever made love to yourself? You gotta start with checkin out that ass and the next thing you know your glued to the floor gasping with a smile on your face. Thats what writing a story is. Now I've been writing for about ten years now and I still don't know anything about it. I thought I did around like year three. Because that's what highschoolers do. We get pompous because we made it to the threshold of adult right? So for a while I didnt want to learn anything new about writing and it led me to basically failing my english class that I'm really bad at this and I need help like yesterday. And if it wasnt for my english teacher that following year I dont think I would've ever written again. He showed me the other side of writing. The fun side of writing. And I was good at it. I was so good at storytelling. So i became pompous again and didnt think I needed the rules up until I finished my first book in college. I got real big for my britches and submitted my book basically in a shitstate thinking it was going to be the next big seller. Now this isnt a pitty party for the past life of little ol me. These are the evolutions we go through as writers. We think we're great and then something knocks us down and we have to find a new reason to get up again. And our surroundings play apart in that. If your in a bland environment with tasteless scenarios, its like the color gets sucked out of your life. I lived in a town, many towns, that I felt the color drain from my eyes because everyone around me was so genaric and unhappy. And then that character shows up. That drunk on the corner by 7-Eleven or the guy who rides around the neighborhood on a bike decked out in Batmans hero outfit and playing the Batman theme song behind him. The color. It just smacks ya. And it stird something in you, compelling you to write. So knock your ass down a couple pegs and get to work. Really sit down and ask yourself how are you going from where you are now to where your trying to go. A story has twists. Drunken ones sometimes. But at the end of it all we still find love. Some of us. Most of us hopefully. And at the end of a long day, or the start for some of you, you look at your partner and stare at them. Touch their cheek. Smile. And the next thing you know your glued to the floor, gasping with a smile on your face. Thats how you write a story. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Yes this one is a lil raunchy and really random. Sorry about that. I really thought I had an epic idea for a Ted Talk but in reality it was just gas. Until next week, my little word vomiters. Facebook!